and I've been very, very busy.

School is okay.  I like the material (most of it, anyway) but find myself getting frustrated with little things.  Like one girl (one of the three who's finishing her undergrad degree) who thinks she knows quite a bit more than she actually does.  This is the girl whom we have convinced that there is such a thing as cooties.  Or another girl who happens to have copies of tests from last year and has been using them to ace this year's tests; who also constantly wants people to bend over backwards for her.  And I'm probably getting on my classmates' nerves by always having the answers to everything.  I'm not trying to be stuck-up or make it seem like I'm so much ahead of everyone else... it's just that this all comes very easily to me and quite a bit of it is familiar information already.  I try to keep my mouth shut when I can so I'm the least annoying I can be.  I think maybe it's just getting to the point where we've all been stuck together in a classroom for the past three months straight, 7 hours a day, and we're beginning to irritate each other just a little bit.  I'll be glad to get into the lab and be learning by myself or with one other person, just for a few weeks at a time.  Right now I just want to keep my mouth shut, keep my head down, and stay in my own little world until we get through this didactic portion.

I've applied for a part-time lab assistant job in the Microbiology lab section, but I'm not entirely convinced I want to do it.  I need the money, no doubt about it.  It would be during clinical rotations (i.e. for 7 months).  Rotations are from 6:30 am to 2:30 pm Monday-Friday and this job would be from 2:30-10 or 11 pm Friday nights, and 6:30 am - 3 pm Saturday and Sunday.  That essentially means that for 7 months, I would never have a day off except the few I have to ask for, the dates of which I already know.  I'm not really okay with never having a day off, nor with working on Sundays.  I'm also afraid of burning out really quickly with that kind of schedule.  I kinda want to pull my application and find something a little better - a position that's something like 3-7 pm Monday-Friday,  which would be more doable; but I'm not sure what's really available to us.  We'll see.

We're going to a conference in Memphis at the end of April.  I'm really excited.  I like these things - it'll be a great experience.  I volunteered to drive, though (because I have a bigger vehicle, and because I don't trust other people to drive) and the route to Memphis is quite a long one... 350+ miles down one stinkin' interstate, and it happens to be the route where my wreck happened 2 1/2 years ago.  Please, please pray that we will be safe, and that I will be confident and calm driving.  I know it seems like a silly thing, but I'm terrified.

My sister is engaged to someone I've never met - i.e., they weren't dating the last time I was in Indiana, at Christmas.  He's overseas with the military somewhere doing something.  He proposed to her by mailing a ring to his mom to give to my sister.  They're planning to get married in September and I'm one of the bridesmaids.  It could quite possibly be the first time I meet this guy.  I'm not convinced this is a good situation, but I'm not sure what to do.

I'm thinking about buying a house... once I have some kind of employment.  The market is excellent and the interest rates are really low, and I know I'll be living here for at least 3 years - so I feel like I'm just throwing money away on rent.  But it's a really intimidating process, and I'm having a little trouble finding something inexpensive in the area I need.  I don't know.  Anyone have any experience?

I don't get to go to camp this summer because of clinical rotations, which is really bumming me out.  I'm taking one day off to go down and hang out, and show the new person the ropes, but it's not the same.  I really feel responsible for my position ("nurse") with that week of camp.  I've been doing it for several years, and they always count on me to be there.  I feel like I'm really letting the director of that week down by having to tell her "no, not this year."  It's killing me!  By any means possible, I will be back next year.  No doubt about it.

As usual, I have three exams next week, so I'd better get back to studying.

In the last month, life has been full of challenges - one after another.

First thing: Had to move to Knoxville on short (<1 month) notice.  Thought I had an apartment - up until the day before I was scheduled to move furniture down.  Apartment fell through.  Thanks to an amazing RD at Johnson, ended up moving my furniture into an empty dorm room there for storage.  (Don't even ask about my adventures driving a moving truck by myself.)  Get another apartment lined up, but can't sign the lease until I get back from Indiana (Christmas) - the weekend before school starts.  Sign the lease Saturday.  Empty the car-full of boxes and go back to JC to get the rest.  Come back Sunday with another car-full of boxes.  Unload said load.  Find out Sunday night that instead of a nice quiet apartment, like I was promised, I have a place in a psuedo-frat-house.  Start school Monday morning.  Go to the apartment office Monday afternoon and get out of lease.  Re-load car.  Call a friend in north Knoxville and ask to stay with her (she had previously offered.)  Move all my crap to her basement.  Stay in her basement for a week.  Sign lease on new apartment in much more promising location.  Move my crap AGAIN to said location - amid 8-hour-class-days and studying.  Spend way too much money on gas.  Go back to JC that Saturday to clean old apartment.  Fight with carpet shampooer.  Have a headlight go out and have to drive 100+ miles in fog and rain with one headlight.  Get furniture moved out of Johnson Sunday, right before students come back.  Praise God for Stuart and his guy friends with trucks and willing muscles.  Take two more days to get water and electricity in new apartment, while still commuting to school from north Knoxville.  Finally get settled in new apartment.

Second thing:  Fight with UT about transcripts and late application (not my fault - I applied after I was accepted to the CLS program, which was a last-minute thing on their end.)  Fight with UT about admission status (I applied as undergraduate "degree seeking" to be eligible for financial aid.  They, of their own free will, changed my admission status to "non degree seeking" since I have two degrees already.)  Fight with UT about residency (they claim I'm an "out of state" student.  B.S.)  The CLS program director finally decides to try to accept me as a student through the Medical Center instead of UT (which is what they want to do for all CLS students in the future.)  Just got word yesterday that it worked out.  Praise God that I don't have to deal with UT anymore.

Third thing:  Got settled in my apartment on Tuesday.  Did phlebotomy rotations all day Thursday.  Became very sick starting early Saturday morning - I can almost guarantee I got it from one of the patients I saw, even though we were careful to wash our hands.  Dragged myself to the urgent care clinic 5 minutes away when they opened at 10.  Almost immediately after being seen, got sent to the emergency room due to dehydration (blood pressure was through the floor.)  Stuart came and got me and we spent 3 hours in the ER while I got fluids.  He took me home, put me to bed, and I didn't get up for almost 24 hours.  I didn't feel fully "myself" until yesterday (Thursday.)  So much for unpacking and putting all my stuff away, and studying for a test I had Tuesday.  I don't know the last time I felt so bad.  This has been a struggle for more than one reason... the result of being so ill has been something that triggered old demons to rise up, and I'm fighting hard not to slip back into something.  But I praise God for an incredible boyfriend who dropped most of his Saturday to come immediately and take care of me.

My time here so far has just been one thing after another.  Please pray that life settles down somewhat.  I'm really questioning if this is the right thing for me, and the right place to be... everything just keeps going wrong, and it makes me feel like I'm missing something - a sign or something.  Satan is really after me right now, and I don't know why, but I need perseverance and patience.  I need to know that I'm doing the right thing.

To end on a positive note:  We'll hit 2 years in just over a month!  Can you believe it??